Beyond the Cusp

April 3, 2013

Politicians are like Dogs but with Different Motivations

Filed under: Uncategorized — qwertster @ 4:21 AM
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Often it is claimed that politicians are difficult to figure out, but is that really true? I would have to claim that politicians are very much like dogs and just as there are different personalities and actions with dogs, there are the same differences among politicians and they can be comparable. So, let’s try and see how dogs and politicians of different stripes are similar except for different reasons and motivations. First we will compare some general similarities and then look at the different types. Have you ever watched a dog when it is first released in a new environment? They immediately run wildly in all directions sniffing everything to get an idea what is where and make a general sniff map categorizing areas with interesting aromas that will require more intent sniffing in the future once the general idea has been absorbed. A politician is the same way when loosed into a new environment. They run around and greet and shake the hand of every person making sure to meet, greet and get the flavor of each person. Somehow politicians, simply by a moment of inane small-talk, can discern which people in the room have money and judge the relative ease with which some of that money can be garnered into their campaign chest. Those people are kept in their memory for a more intense conversation after the room has been sampled. While there are different personalities among dogs, hold a treat in front of any dog and they become attentive and responsive doing whatever they think you might desire of them in order to get the treat. Once they get the treat they run off and ignore you until you again become an item of interest. Hold out campaign contributions and a politician will say exactly what you want to hear and sympathize with your every interest and do their political equivalent of sit up and beg until they get the funding after which they run off looking for the next contributor. Should you ever mention contributing again, the politicians will sit up and return to their attentive act. Dogs will leave a mess all over the area in which they reside with little embarrassment. Do I even have to point out that politicians leave a mess in their wake making a mess out of everything they touch? I did not think so. For every action which is fairly universal among dogs have a similar action that is true of the vast majority of politicians. Dogs nuzzle your hand to get you to stroke them. Politicians nudge you to get you to stoke their campaign chests. Dogs will appear excited and absolutely wildly beside themselves joyous when they see their masters and other known humans who often have paid attentions and stroked them or played with them. Politicians react exactly the same way though it is disturbing when they try to wag their tails when they are in the company of contributors, especially large contributors. Dogs will bark as a response to everything. Politicians will allocate money as a response to everything. Dogs will behave very properly when you are watching them closely. The same is true with politicians. Dogs will act true to their nature and get into everything and eat anything tasty when not being watched. Politicians will get into regulating everything if not watched carefully and will find a way to make money or place their name on every structure when left to their own devices. But what about the different personalities and traits with dogs, do politicians have their own equivalent types?


Many dogs are constantly happy just wagging their tails and squirming with endless energy. There are politicians who have a big smile plastered on their faces all of the time and are constantly happy and seem to have endless energies that somehow makes them attractive and seem to be positive people. Some dogs growl at anything which tries to take away their bone or favorite toy. Challenge a politician by running against them for their position and you will see more than you ever wished for of growling and bared teeth, just in a more civilized and hidden manner, but the rage will be evident. Some dogs just have to chase cars. Some politicians just have to chase after causes. A good example would be former Vice President Gore and global warming. Some dogs are lazy lay around type who hardly ever gets motivated to do much of anything and only seem to move when absolutely necessary like to go out or eat and drink.. They resemble politicians who represent gerrymandered districts that are so safe they do not even need to ever campaign as their seat is guaranteed for life so they simply go through the motions with as little effort as is demanded. Dogs often run in packs. Politicians have a similar activity that they call a junket where they go in a group usually to some very nice location where they need to study something presumably important. Dogs have been known to bark at nothing with absolutely no reason. Politicians do the same and they call it making an important speech about something that they wish people to believe they feel as strongly about as those they are speaking to feel. Just as dogs come in varying sizes, habits and personalities just as do politicians and just as dogs can be trained by reward and denial, so can politicians be trained or rather forced to do what is presumably their real reason for being, serving the people. Unfortunately the people rarely gather in force to push the politicians but when they really care the politicians will respond. They can be made to heel, sit, beg, and even bark on command if you can prove to them that you control the one item they will do almost anything to attain, sufficient voters supporting the idea to keep or remove them from their cushy office. That is the best treat which gets any politicians attention and is the only answer to outbid all the monies that the special interests offer. Votes are the large meaty fresh soup bone and money the big dog treat and guess which one will make the politician sit up and beg for fastest.


Beyond the Cusp


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